1) Twas v dull. The highlight was a middle-aged woman falling over. And she didn't hurt herself.
2) Twasn't very cutting edge. Ed Sheerboredom (who has done very well in making a career out of something KT Tunstall of all people did on Later... about 12 years ago) has a 'TV Girl' that he thanked. I'm presuming he meant 'television'.
3) Even the fairly rowdy Royal Blood seemed toned down when performing and media-trained within an inch of their lives giving their acceptance speech. I'm not sure whether I or Noel Gallagher would've tutted the loudest.
4) Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood breathed a collective sigh of relief when Kim Kardashian become the historical low-point of the programme.
5) The flashy walkway looked good, though it took ITV about 20 minutes to figure out which camera to use to look at the faces of presenters rather than backs of heads.
6) Taylor Swift has fabulous legs.
7) Everyone, including Ant and Dec, took a bet to see who could be the least funny and die on stage. Jimmy Carr won.
8) The stage was full of posh, white folk. ITV censored the black guy. But it was Kanye, so that was actually fine.
9) Rita 'the epitome of having little discernible talent and yet being everywhere' Ora berated Orlanda Bloom for looking at her breasts. Even though he wasn't. Even though she was desperate to have him look.
10) If the BRITs are going to have a BRITs Critics Choice Award, can we skip automatically giving them Best Breakthrough the year after. We get it, you select an up and comer and with massive PR behind them they become really popular.
