Trotter's Top 400 of the Noughties - Part 10 (1-10)

Well done! You've come so far.  With no messin' about, here's the final stretch - in reverse order to build the suspense before revealing Leona Lewis is number one... 

10 'Hey Ya!' by Outkast - I do love a song that just jumps straight into the fun bit (intro's do have their place sometimes I guess) and this certainly does that, just a shame Outkast had already got to their 'release separate albums because we can't stand each other' stage, or we would've had plenty more like this.  Still, 'shake it like a polaroid picture' and 'gimme some sugar, I am your neighbour!' will have to do, even if there's a diminishing number of folk that will get the Lucy Liu reference...

9 'Seven Nation Army' by The White Stripes - speaking of intro's, this may very well take the prize.  Face it, you're humming it now, and now you're playing the video in your head.  You may also be wishing that Meg could use her other arm while playing the drums too, but you can't have everything.  In a parallel universe where I'd not heard this more times than I'd care to mention, this may have got a tad higher.

8 'Maps' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - although they got pretty famous for their post-NYC-punk clatter, it was this subdued beauty that made the critics really stop and take notice.  Karen's tears are real, as is the emotion she pours into every heartbreaking lyric here.  It's a stunning tune that starts with the simplest of guitar riffs and builds into a rage of drumskin banging and rockstar guitar shapes. Sublime.

7 'Freak Like Me' by Sugababes - for precisely three months, six days and seventeen minutes 'mash-ups' were the sound of the Noughties.  Until, that is, DJ's ran out of Destiny's Child songs and had to start recycling god-awful 90's rave tunes and selling them back to the yanks.  Easily the finest of these such 'mash-ups' is this clash of  dirty soul and 70's electronica sung by a recently remodelled girl group ready for a relaunched, raunchier image.  Strangely enough no-one really complained about them singing about the 'dog in me' - presumably because they managed to keep their clothes on in the video.

6 'Out of Time' by Blur - happily, one of Blur's finest moments emerged from their acrimonious final (for now at least) album.  Damon kept the African influences to just the right level, infusing the song with melancholy from the start.  It's just about the best melody he's ever written too, coming across more wistful than despondent but still tugging at the heartstrings.  The video fits the song perfectly, so much so that you expect the final camera shot to pan to the African choir on a warship (it doesn't).  Strangely there's a bit that keeps reminding me of the theme tune to Mr. Rossi - though I suspect this is just me.

5 'The Rat' by The Walkmen - okay now, so I completely overlooked this on the year of its release, just don't tell anyone, but I'm making amends in this countdown.  A simple rule of thumb for any up-and-coming indie band should be 'Can you write a tune as good as The Rat?'  If the answer is 'no' then you should go on the X Factor instead.  Full of spitting vitriol, soaring guitars and packed with acerbic energy but still being incredibly catchy, it makes you want to press play again even before it's over.

4 'Destroy Everything You Touch' by Ladytron - powerful, pounding synths under ice cool female vocals - what's not to like?  Ladytron have always been a band that I know I should like but never quite got, until this.  I'm frightened to look at the number of plays this has had on my old gramophone as I could probably have learnt a language in that time instead.  Unfortunately you're stuck reading this in English then.

3 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' by Kylie Minogue - such an apt title for a pop song isn't it?  Sharing a fair few similarities with the previous track in it's driving, future-of-the-1970's electronic sleekness, but with added sexKylie and Julian MacDonald dresses. Although she'd already done the comeback by donning those hot pants a couple of years before, this was the tune that cemented her place in pop royalty and made Madonna call for the botox.

2 'Crazy in Love' by Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z - for many months (believe it or not this countdown was actually planned) old Mrs. Carter was in the top spot.  But then, a bit like Seven Nation Army, there's only so many times you can hear 'oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-no-no' without going as crazy as the title suggests.  Still, a classic of our time, and a showcase of how US R&B (and sampling) should be done.  About as perfect a debut solo single as you can get.

1 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash - a surprise?  Yes and No.  Yes, firstly because it's a cover (and by definition that generally means they're second-best) and secondly because it's a sad, downbeat, slow song.  But then no, because it's one of the best covers ever, never mind for the decade, and also why do number ones have to either be slices of perky pop or indie classics?  So this being in pole position answers the question 'which track of the decade made you feel the most?'  Intellectually its a great number one, because it takes a song and, without altering the lyrics, completely changes its meaning from Trent Reznor's ode to drug abuse to the final, reflective thoughts and actions of an old man nearing his end. It is so sad and touchingly sung that you'd have to have no tear ducts not to well up while listening to it.  It's also Johnny Cash.  Throw in the video and you'll be well away.  As far as songs with impact go, there's little competition.  But if you want to end on a happier note I hear there ain't no party like an S Club party...

(so, no Leona, but for a second you thought I'd done it didn't you?)

Now listen to a good old earful of all of these over on that there Spotify malarkey...and if you missed the rest of the countdown (shame!) you can listen to them over on my account...

Trotter's Top 400 of the Noughties - Part 9 (11-20)

And so we're almost there, but before the Top Ten, here are the 'nearly men' of the Noughties, those fantastic tracks that just weren't quite good enough to sneak a place in the top echelons of the chart (apart from when at one point the Top Ten had thirteen tunes in it).  So after far too much dissecting the merits and failings of them all, for what is an art form and shouldn't be ranked in any order, here's the penultimate batch of goodies...

11 'Olympic Airways' by Foals - splendid track by the ultimate boys club everyone wants to join due to how perfectly they meld their sounds together, them against the world, topped off with a vid of them all playing in the woods with fires, balloons and mattresses (and an unfortunate squid)
12 'Hard to Explain' by The Strokes - speaking of boys clubs...the perfect indie band's best song, full of brash energy and urgency and demanding your attention
13 'Say My Name' by Destiny's Child - showcasing the overlooked genius of Rodney Jerkins production that lifted R&B to world-conquering status in the 90's and 00's and setting off a trend for contrasting your home décor with your outfit.  What did happen to those other members??
14 'Float On' by Modest Mouse - back when Mr Marr seemed to be playing guitar for just about anyone, but this was definitely where his talents were best realised in that work-for-hire period.  One of the best intros of the decade
15 'Pure Shores' by All Saints - hands down our best girl band, tragically taken from us too soon due to fashion squabbles and sorely missed; this track dating waaaay back to when Di Caprio was thin
16 'Comfortably Numb' by Scissor Sisters - perhaps its sacrilege to prefer this to the original, but I do and it's my countdown and I'll prefer electronic, glam covers if I want to... 
17 'Charmer' by Kings of Leon - showcasing the Followills at their visceral best, even if at times Caleb is sth-creaming like Bonnie Langford.  Finest moment being the drop-off at 1 minute 26 seconds - pure class.
18 'Paper Planes' by M.I.A. - perhaps M.I.A. has been more hit and miss lately, but then she can be forgiven after releasing this controversy-baiting number about being a gun-toting, drug dealing gangsta (whilst being married to a multi-millionaire obviously)
19 'Take Me Out' by Franz Ferdinand - we all have a solemn duty to think of this classic when someone says 'Take Me Out' rather than the Paddy McGuiness end-of-days slash light entertainment vehicle.  For that alone, its place is secured.  That and the best tempo change in a song EVER.
20 'More Than a Woman' by Aaliyah - it might be wistful to imagine that, but for a plane crash, Aaliyah might have had the global megastar status that went to others instead, but on the strength of this tune she was well on the way...sadly missed and well worth a posthumous retrospective. 

Now listen to a good old earful of all of these over on that there Spotify malarkey...and if you missed the previous 380 you can listen to them here, here, here, here, here, here, here and (phew!) here.

Trotter's Top 400 of the Noughties - Part 8 (21-40)

And so the Top 40...starting with a squadron of pop princesses showing the current crowd how to keep it classy, everyone's favourite Scientologist, a couple of absolute dance floor classics, moody indie goodness and some hounds with Mackem accents...

21 'The Fear' by Lily Allen - quite timely considering her new outing, this deftly showed her at her lyrical and musical best with a fine line in barbed punnage about the tabloids.
22 'Hometown Glory' by Adele - cat nip now to many unfortunately, which does her and her first hit no favours.  She broke the mold with this tune about south-east London.
23 'Overload' by Sugababes - points to this track when asked 'how would you put together the perfect girl group debut single?'
24 'Lonesome Tears' by Beck - more well known for his Haircuts and Losers but Beck's beautifully crafted, understated 'Sea Change' album was easily his best and this is the best track from it.  Strings by his Dad too!
25 'Since U Been Gone' by Kelly Clarkson - easily the best tune from a reality tv series winner that saw some absolutely ear-bleedingly hideous monstrosities foisted upon us in this decade.  And don't let Kelly near your wardrobe...
26 'PDA' by Interpol - this, rather than their Joy Division- aping debut single, was what made me sit up and notice them.  I'd then go on to be ever so slightly obsessed with them.
27 'Insomnia' by Faithless - hands down the best alliteration of the Noughties - 'tearing off tights with my teeth' - you're now singing it in your head aren't you?  Arguably the best dance track ever, let alone the decade.
28 'Bonkers' by Dizzee Rascal - it only took about four minutes for Dizzee to go from hard-edged bot in da corner to media darling - but good on 'im I say.  Bonkers just cemented that position and made him as close to the UK version of a US rapper's career trajectory that we've ever produced.
29 'No I in Threesome' by Interpol - pretty much the most Interpol-ish of all Interpol songs, showing off all the band members at their best.  The video also perfectly matches the moody, strange energy of the track.
30 'Hounds of Love' by The Futureheads - who knew in 2000 that what we needed was a Sunderland version of a Kate Bush classic.  Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh...
31 'La Ritournelle' by Sebastien Tellier - sparkling, twinkly remixed tune with a vid guaranteed to leave you misty-eyed.
32 '2+2=5' by Radiohead - the angry side of Thom and the boys barking out how 'you have not been paying attention' and continuing to twiddle with strange bits of electronic equipment.
33 'Rehab' by Amy Winehouse - the tune's almost become as iconic as herself and although there are better examples showcasing Amy's amazing vocals, no track is as synonymous with her as this one.
34 'Last Night' by The Strokes - ah, the world's best pub singer at their energetic slash laid-back finest.   
35 'Love's Not a Competition (But I'm Winning)' by The Kaiser Chiefs - more well-known for their brand of chirpy, chipper jump-up-and-down numbers but this has two things going for it - video filmed at Colombus Circle, NYC and a track of sufficient quality that not even Paramore could run it!
36 'Rebellion (Lies)' by The Arcade Fire - stunning live, with a chorus made for crowd sing-a-longs and a track that fits their travelling troubadour schtick to a tee and what turns out to be their best tune. 
37 'Pyramid Song' by Radiohead - instead of the angry side, this time its the melancholic side that's on display here in a haunting, powerful ballad with a video to match.
38 'Special' by Mew - probably the track and video I've played the most from the band that I'd say was my best accidental discovery (thanks MTV).  Nothing beats a tune sounding like you've stumbled into it half way through and some strange Scandinavian black and white dancing by a lake and a dining table. 
39 'Crystalised' by The XX - back when they were four (members rather than years old, but they weren't far off I suppose).  They offered something unique with sparse electronics and duelling male/female vocals and then took over the world a little.
40 'Biology' by Girls Aloud - as innovative  a pop song you could hope to find or three catchy bits from different songs spliced together - you decide.  But definitely the best of the band put together by Geri Haliwell, Pete Waterman and Dr. Fox - what could possibly go wrong?

Now listen to a good old earful of all of these over on that there Spotify malarkey...and if you missed the previous 320 (!) you can listen to them here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

Trotter's Top 400 of the Noughties - Part 7 (41-60)

In this batch of twenty the keyword is 'catchy' (and I try not to use it too many times, honest).  We've got a brace of killers, a US rapper drinking Ribena, an eight minute opus from a former bunch of comedy-goths, dad dancing, cartoon stalking and some rather splendid tunes from Satan's pop factory...

41 'Minerva' by Deftones - the closest you'll get to the 'wall of sound' this century, but replace girl-group southern harmonies with shouty, beardy rockers with Spinal Tap sized speakers in the desert
42 'Hot 'n' Cold' by Katy Perry - created by a squadron of expert aural scientists in an underground pop bunker in order to perfect the catchiest tune to snare a hair-sprayed-up, dandy comedian (and soundtrack the best programme on television in Masterchef Australia)
43 'Sea Within a Sea' by The Horrors - the leap in quality and originality this band took with this tune was never surpassed in the decade and still really hasn't been.  As close to a 'Bohemian Rhapsody' as this generation will ever get.
44 'Heads Will Roll' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Richard Ayoade and Karen O's YYY's on directorial and band duties respectively.  Plus werewolf action amongst the over-privileged elite.  And tic-a-tape blood.  Say no more.
45 'Undertow' by Warpaint - making best use of, and yet also dodging, 'all-female rock band' clichés.  Undertow is Warpaint's statement to the world, achingly cool but tight-knit all at once - even better when they perform it live.
46 'Mr. Brightside' by The Killers - the absolute masters of launching straight into catchy guitar hooks from the very first second (part 1)
47 'Call the Shots' by Girls Aloud - speaking of scientist-created pop perfection, not only is this one of the girls' most sublime slices of pop, but the bittersweet lyrics also allow plenty of opportunity for wistful looks off camera whilst caressing your own face. 
48 'I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor' by Arctic Monkeys - after the impact of The Strokes had worn off mid-decade, along came the band we'd all wanted but just hadn't realised.  From Sheffield.  Aged about 12.  With lyrics that some are still convinced must have been nicked from a band twice their age.
49 'Whirring' by The Joy Formidable - straddling that tricky line between melodic and raucous, and sometimes being both at once.  Though I do prefer the video where they drag their instruments up a hill and then beat the crap out of them.
50 'American Boy' Estelle ft. KanYe West - turning out unfortunately to be a bit of a one-hit wonder, a bit of KanYe can't have done Estelle any harm.  And this tune allowed us insight into his Dick van Dyke world view of the UK and his delivering the immortal line 'before he speak, his suit bespoke'.  He also namechecks Ribena which is worth the price of admission alone.
51 'Reptilia' by The Strokes - both video and song perfectly capturing the economic- best of The Strokes.  Deceptive simplicity, meticulously planned, pent-up energy fighting against seemingly laissez-faire performance.
52 'Elusive' by Scott Matthews - it's all about the silence and breathing between notes on this one.  Beautiful - and always reminds me of Christmas for some reason.
53 'Swastika Eyes' by Primal Scream - nevermind silence, there's not a second to catch your breath here.  I much prefer 'bonkers disco' Scream to 'Mumford's dirty uncle' Scream - and this is the former at the peak of their blistering, ear-drum shattering best.
54 'Stand Inside Your Love' by The Smashing Pumpkins - I've no doubt if this hadn't been delivered with Billy's usual fingers-down-a-chalkboard delivery and avant-garde video it would've sailed up the charts and given radio stations something of theirs to play other than 'Tonight, Tonight'.  One of my favourite bands best (and last) tunes.
55 'Skeleton Boy' by Friendly Fires - the world would be a duller place without Ed Macfarlane's particularly cool brand of Dad-dancing, especially to this little piece of euphoria.
56 'When You Were Young' by The Killers - the absolute masters of launching straight into catchy guitar hooks from the very first second (part 2)
57 'Toxic' by Britney Spears - watch closely Miley, this is how it's done.  Tongue should be firmly in cheek rather than stuck outside it.
58 '156' by Mew - By now, even if you've only heard of Mew through my ramblings you'll know they have a knack of pairing angelic vocals, seemingly innocent lyrics with an undercurrent of disquiet and danger - jolly tune about a stalker/kidnapper being a case in point.
59 'Don't Know Why' by Norah Jones - the tune the Cadbury's Flake ad agency was no doubt kicking themselves that they'd let slip through their fingers.  Silky smooth and laid back - the only thing missing was the bath water running.
60 'That's Not My Name' by The Ting Tings - proof that feminist rallying cries neither had to be solemn nor particularly intelligent, but you do have to have a bloke on the drums.

Now listen to a good old earful of all of these over on that there Spotify malarkey...and if you missed the previous 340 (!) you can listen to them here, here, here, here, here and here.